Off the hook

I think I may be my hardest critic. If you asked me what I got done in a day, I may list all the things that didn't get done or discount what did get done. I go in spurts trying to accomplish all that needs to be done, but at the end of the day there is always more that needs to be done. Somehow I get discouraged and then I don't get anything done. I cycle through this over and over.

I make ridiculously long to do list and I'm surprised when they don't finished. I set the bar high and then when I don't come close to clearing it, I come crashing to the ground. If I want to find my worst enemy, I just need to look in the mirror. I just can't seem to let myself "off the hook".

This year I made lots of goals, measurable goals and then started a blog to track my progress. I did the math on several of the realized about every two weeks I would need to be progressing to the next item to finish by the end of the year. I started to stress when I realized it is the last day in January and there are some things I haven't begun yet. I started to realize I am not going to get everything done on my list. I am not just going to give up now. It is only the first month of the year.

So then, I took a breath and realized I never let myself off the hook. I haven't look at what I have accomplished this year and been proud of it. It is time for a change in my point of view. If my goals do not all get accomplished by December 31, 2012, then I will just keep going until I do finish.

This year I started the goals. I am proud of that. I may not finish in 366 days, but I will finish.

You can follow my blog Out of Focus for now...

Here's what I have accomplished this year.

Clean (and I mean deep clean, purge & organize) 30 different areas of my home (as small as a draw & as big as a room)

• Day 1: Cleaning ~ My Pantry
• Day 2: Cleaning ~ My Hutch

Crock pot cook for 30 days (this I would like to do 30 days in a row)

• Day 1: Crock Pot ~ Creamy Chicken over Pasta
• Day 2: Crock Pot ~ Italian Roast
• Day 3: Crock Pot ~ Meatloaf
• Day 4: Crock Pot ~ Cream of Broccoli Soup
• Day 5: Crock Pot ~ Chili
• Day 6: Crock Pot ~ "Stir Fry"
• Day 7: Crock Pot ~ Butternut Squash Soup

Cook 30 new & different recipes

• Day 1: New Recipe Crock Pot ~ Creamy Chicken over Pasta
• Day 2: New Recipe Crock Pot ~ Butternut Squash Soup

Try 30 new spices in my cooking (some may be in my cabinet that I've never used...toss the ones we don't like)

• Day 1: Crock Pot ~ Chili Link to purchase spice: Tastefully Simple Wahoo Chili Spice (only available till 03.12.2012)

Read 30 new books (obviously this will take more than 30 days)

• Book 1: Reading ~ Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins
• Book 2: Reading ~ Catching Fire

Walking...

Last Saturday, our family had the pleasure of going to the first cul de sac get together. This street hasn't done one in probably ten years. Our neighbors hosted it and it was fun to meet several other families on the street. We finally met the parents of a little girl with whom my girls have been playing for years and both families joked that we were glad there were actually parents (I was starting to wonder).

Then after the party, I got a chance to chat with the host a bit and she asked if I wanted to join her walking at 5:30 in the morning during the week. She has about an hour before she has to get ready for work and get her daughter off to school. Anyone who knows me, knows I am a morning person and without blinking I said, "I'd love to." We exchanged numbers and then I got home, thought about it for a minute and realized waking up at 5:30 every morning is one thing, but go outside in the cold and walking...what was I thinking. However, I got up Monday morning and texted her see if we were still on to walk and she replied that she was getting dressed. That was it. I was going to be walking outside in my neighborhood at 5:30 in the morning when it is only 17˚ outside. I have completely lost my mind.

Then I thought back to my goals for 2012. I want to walk/jog/run 30 miles every 30 days. This would definitely keep me on track. I would actually get over 50 miles every 30 days without even getting to the gym...AND walking outside is so much better than just jogging on a treadmill. So many more muscles are engaged while walking outside.

So there you have it...I've been getting up at 5:30 every morning for a week now and walking just over 2 1/2 miles. I hope to keep this walking buddy as I get healthier this year. I have been using a fun app called RunKeeper to track my miles and calories. It has been fun to see the numbers add up. So far this is what I've accomplished this year. I might not hit 30 miles in January but I'm off to a great start!

6

Total Activities

17.8

Total mi

1,458

Total Calories

Through the valley...

...of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for thou art with me.

I think that says it all.

As I walk through the valley, I truly fear nothing.

I am blessed and moving forward.

Back to it. Back on track.

Not to say I even got off track but just stopped, paused, became stationary for just a moment.

It wasn't to smell the roses. I wasn't because of fear or evil.

It just was. I stopped.

Now I'm moving again.

The end.

Okay...so not really the end. Not really a beginning.

There was an intermission and now back to the show.

Back to blogging. Back to goals. Back to getting it all done.

2012...here I come.

So here's my 2012 goals:

This year I want to challenge myself to several 30 day challenges. Now when I say 30 day challenge, I'm not saying that they must be done 30 days in a row but that I will do them till I've done it for 30 days or 30 times. I would like to make some new habits, try some new things and "spice" up life. Some challenges will be done at the same time and others I will focus on doing just one thing.

Oh...and the key part of these challenges will be blogging about them along the way. Look for a new blog starting soon and a new format.

Here are a few of my ideas:
1. Clean (and I mean deep clean, purge & organize) 30 different areas of my home (as small as a draw & as big as a room)
2. Crock pot cook for 30 days (this I would like to do 30 days in a row)
3. Cook 30 new & different recipes
4. Try 30 new spices in my cooking (some may be in my cabinet that I've never used...toss the ones we don't like)
5. Don't eat out or order pizza for 30 days (great one to be combined with 30 days of crock pot cooking)
6. Knit 30 new & different projects
7. Read 30 new books (obviously this will take more than 30 days)
8. Walk/Jog/Run 30 miles every 30 days (so that will keep me going to the gym more regularly)
9. Go 30 places I've never been (explore Colorado a bit)
10. Hike 30 trails

That's all for this challenge. I figure 10 different 30 day challenges will probably take me the entire year. As the year progresses I plan on reevaluating these challenges maybe scraping some that don't work and adding new ones that sound interesting.

As to my other 2012 goals:

Spiritual goals (as they are every year): 1. Grow closer to God 2. Walk with confidence in the Calling God has on my life right now (the right now part is the crucial part for me this year) 3. Invest spiritually into my loved ones (family and friends).

Personal Goals: 1. Blog more 2. Facebook less 3. Grow my knitting business

Relation goals: 1. More date nights with the kids 2. Be more intentional 3. Listen 4. Let go

Physical goals: 1. Get back to my work out routine 2. Eat Healthier & Cook more

Financial goals, though most of these are private I do have these: 1. Stick to our Budget 2. Make a profit at my knitting business

Last Blog of the Year...

It's been an interesting year. Many things have happened that I would have never imagined. I'm not sure that I could have expected this year or planned for it and don't know if I've really "recovered" from all the events of the year quite yet.


I looked back to see what my 2011 goals are and there are many that I have completely fallen short of even being able to say I completed them. There are others that I did "better" than years previous and some that I feel proud to say I accomplished my goal.


So as to the 2011 recap, I have several different goals categories: Spiritual, Personal, Relational, Physical & Financial. 


I would say my Spiritual goals are always a work in progress. I feel closer to God and have felt His calling on my life strongly this year. I was able to travel to Africa and while I did struggle being there because of family struggles at home. I felt God move in my life while there. Many things became clear in my journey in the very last moments of the trip. I was able to see God in a new way and find a passion that I have always prayed God would instill in me. 


Our family journeyed away from Vanguard Church. It was a painful move in that we didn't want to go. We loved our family there and that community is one I can say I learned what community truly was but God was very clear and we obeyed. We found a new church home at Boulder Street church and are looking forward to what doors God may open for us in ministry and leadership as well as growth for this church. Our kids are on fire for God and that excites me as a parent. 


This year has been a year of spiritually investing in my friends. It has been a give and take. There are some amazing women (and you know who you are) that have prayed over me, with me and for my family. I have been able to walk with several friends through dark valleys and high mountains. I have cried with almost all of them and feel blessed to pour into them all that God has blessed me and receive all the blessings they pour on me. Thanks ladies! I love you all! Life is beautiful and blessed somewhat because you remind me that it is!


As to my personal goals I can say that I did Blog more, read more and Facebook less. I didn't journal at all nor write letters to my loved ones. I think the Blogging served as journaling and there were many blog posts that never got published being they were very private so in some ways...I guess I did journal. I guess I was partially successful here.


My relational goals are also like my spiritual goals and always a work in progress. We did instill date nights with the kids and so far they have gone really well. We haven't done as many as I would like but I have to remind myself we have 4 kids! I think we each have had a one on one date with each kid. Our kids are enjoying it and looking forward to it. Some of the dates have been a lot of work and others just flowed. It's interesting to see what the kids want to do. I actually sat at a yarn store with one of the kids and looked at pattern books for a couple hours. Afterwards, she said she would love to do that again. It was a moment when I realized that though it was something I enjoyed, she loved just spending time with me and seeing what I liked. She keeps asking when we'll do that again. I feel blessed to have kids that love me and my passions and want to be apart of them because sure feel the same way about them!


As to my physical goals...this year is a bust. For the first time in my life, I have not worked out consistently. My girlfriends and I were talking about this for a bit because it really bothered me. I have always been the friend in my group that got them to go outside and walk or jog or run (okay mostly walk). I have been the one that got up before my family woke up to walk or swim. I like to be active. The only time in my life I wasn't working out was post babies (c-sections & working out don't mix). I'm a bit of a health nut and in fact it was one of the first things one of my friends remember about me. I made a salad for a pot luck and everything in it was organic. I like to be the one that can eat what I like but work out to afford that luxury and I would rather eat raw, organic cheese and rice crackers than any sweets ever. When Ryan and I married, it was one of the things we loved about each other...we loved to be healthy. I changed a lot of the foods in our diet and have stuck to most of it. This year, something happened and I haven't been to the gym in SIX months. I think I've worked through most of the things that I think have been apart of that and hope for a more successful workout year.


As to our financial goals, mostly we keep those private but I will say this year we have done what we said we would. We have stuck to a budget and made future plans. We have been able to do many things we wanted and still have several long term goals in the works. 


All of this was really for me. I needed to see in black in white what I've done this year. I'm by no means patting myself on the back but I am saying that 2011 was a year that I did move forward. I'm looking forward to 2012 and hope to put some goals together in the next several days and blog a little about that then. Like I have said before, I don't believe in resolutions but goals. If I'm going to resolve to break bad habits and make new ones, I'm not going to wait till January 1st to do so. I need to take those things on as they arise. I feel I've done that this year. So here's to next year...it's a way to mark the time, reflect and celebrate. I plan on doing all of that today!


As always, thanks for listening.

1-11-11...This is a brand new day.

Okay there have been good days and bad days. There have been good months and...well, bad months. There have actually been good years and bad years. I've heard many pray over me for years about seasons. Well guess what? The winter has past, the pain of spring is gone and I am living in summer (metaphorically of course being it's actually -3 outside). After blogging about grief, I am ready to change the tone...

I am here to say, "This is a brand new day and it's getting better in every single way." Today has been the best day in a long time. Today I found out two amazing things. First thing this morning I got a picture mail. It was my best friends left hand and on it...was...a RING!!!! We've know it was coming but now it's official! Then this afternoon my other best friend (yes I have more than one best friend) informed me that she is expecting her 5th child!!!! All I can say is babies and weddings are always joyous. I am so joyous for these two women.

On top of all of this I am proud to say that 11 days into this year, I am still hitting all my goals! I know it's only been 11 days, but I'm proud of myself. There have been a couple of daily goals I have added this year and daily goals are a little harder to hit. One is to read the Bible through by the end of this year. As of today, I'm on target.

The other is more on the hobby side and is to create a photo journal of my year. I would like to take around 300 photos (1 a day with some grace) to journal my year. Today I took my 9th picture. I can't believe I've actually remember to take a picture just about every day. I'm looking forward to see what I saw this year. I haven't put anything into a hobby for just me in quite a few years. It's nice to have a hobby again.

I have lots of other goals that didn't really start at the beginning of this year and won't end at the end of this year but I am happy to say that I'm still hitting every goal, as of today!

So on 1-11-11 I have had really exciting news and I'm still hitting all my goals. What could be better than that?

New Years Goals...ready...set...go!

I don't believe in New Year's Resolutions. Let me rephrase that. I don't believe in resolving to "mend my ways" as the Merriam-Webster dictionary put it. I instead look forward to making goals and most of my goals do not begin at the New Year. I tend not to be the type to wait for a date to start making a difference in my life or other lives. When it is time for change, it's time and January 1st is usually not that time for me.

This year I have one clear goal that began at the beginning of this year and will end on December 31st. As I stated in my last blog, I would like to read the entire Bible this year. Other than that, none of my goals are for 2011 and only 2011. But, nevertheless, I have goals. I have several different goals categories: Spiritual, Personal, Relational, Physical and Financial.

My spiritual goals are almost always the same: 1. Grow closer to God 2. Grow into the woman of God that He has called me to be 3. Invest spiritually into my loved ones (family and friends).

My personal goals include: 1. Blog more 2. Journal privately more consistently 3. Write letters to my loved ones (some I will give them and others I save for the future) 4. Read more 5. Facebook less

My relational goals are mostly considering my core family, but also friends: 1. Be more intentional about relationship 2. Spend quality time with each individual family member (I see a lot of date nights with the kids in the future) 3. Listen 4. Be true and honest (even when it's hard)

My physical goals are not really public but include continuing to go to the gym and work with my trainer...oh and stay at the head of the pack on this summer's hike on vacation (I was at the back of the pack last year).

My financial goals are not public either but do include a personal commitment of NO personal spending for at least 30 days. I'm part way through it and it's tougher than I thought it would be. I also have a personal savings goal with hopes of surprising the family with a fun experience towards the end of the year.

I think putting this out here does a few things. First, I can't forget my goals because I always know where to find them. Second, I can be held accountable by my accountability partners because now they know what my goals are and where to find them. And last, I hope to encourage you to write down your goals whenever you started them for however long they will last. We are probably more likely to meet our goals when we don't forget what they are. And as always, thanks for listening.

Bible reading

So I recently gave a Bible to a friend off my shelf because she didn't have one. I have an entire shelf of Bibles, different versions from over the years. Then in the midst of the holiday season, I realized I couldn't remember the last time I picked up my Bible or any other of the several Bibles I own. I think it had been a couple of weeks. I was actually a little shocked by this.

Though I do not make resolutions in the New Year, I have made up my mind that this will be the year that I make it through the Bible by December 31st of this year. There are many who have made this commitment and I hope the support will get us to the end.

I have a One Year Bible and have made it through several times, just not in a year. This will be the year I will accomplish it in 365 days. One thing I have decided about my goal is that I am not going to be controlled by the outline this One Year Bible makes. Today I have time to read so I am reading several days because I know there will be days I do not have a moment to myself. I would love to think that I would prioritize my Bible reading time over all else and make time everyday, but instead of a plan for perfection, I am planning for grace.

I pray for a wonderful love for the scriptures. I pray for new understanding. I pray for God's grace when I can't seem to extend it to myself. I pray for success in this goal for not only me but all the others who have made this commitment. I pray for all the God wants for me as I draw closer to Him by reading His Word. And finally, I pray that His Word sets my heart on fire each and every day!

Up and running…

Our family does not make New Year Resolutions. Instead, we make goals in three areas: God, family and personal. This year I committed to several things. Some I have accomplished already. Some are in the works and others I have fought the entire way. Every few months I look at my goals to see where I am.

Needless to say, I’m up and running. I am running in the blessings of the “already accomplished goals.” I am seeing the finish line on the “in the works goals.” The ones with which I am fighting, those still sit on my “to do list” every day and I poke them. Sometimes I scratch them, but I struggle to just “do” them.

One of the things I have been fighting with is this Blog. I am a writer. I don’t know that I was born a writer, but it was definitely a skill set that was nurtured in me by my mom. She was a writer. She loved to write. Somehow in her passing, I found my voice and now feel writing is honoring her.

So why commit to Blogging but then fight it? No one is asking me to do this (or rather no person is asking me to do this.) I do feel that God is asking me to become vulnerable through my writings in order to stretch out my hand of service in a “new” venue. I love the face to face chats. I love meeting my girl friends for coffee (even at their house or in mine) or chips and salsa or dinner. I love to see their face when we chat. I love to see the tears and let them see mine. I am very transparent with my gals and vulnerable in person.

Blogging is the same but different. I am being transparent and vulnerable, but I do not hear your voice, see your face and experience your emotions. I say it; it’s out there; there is no taking it back.

So why do I feel God is calling me to this? What could possibly be the purpose of Him calling me to Blog? Well, one of the first things I wrote opened doors I thought were bricked over. From that moment, I have experience the same thing over and over. I have renewed friendships. I have deepened relationships. I have peace in areas of my life that were wrestles. So why do I fight?

Well just because I have been blessed by this does not make it easier, it should but doesn’t. I do want to say this to those who listen, thank you. I don’t know who you are always and that’s the way it was designed. I pray that God uses me daily to spread His word and not mine. I ask that if this has “touched” you to share it. Oh and right up front I’m going to say I know I am long winded…I guess I have more to say than I thought.

I am living out my calling in ways I would not have designed for myself. All the same I know for sure that I am doing for what He has called me. I pray for all who listen that God will bless your lives. OK, back to being up and running…no more fighting here.