Up and running…

Our family does not make New Year Resolutions. Instead, we make goals in three areas: God, family and personal. This year I committed to several things. Some I have accomplished already. Some are in the works and others I have fought the entire way. Every few months I look at my goals to see where I am.

Needless to say, I’m up and running. I am running in the blessings of the “already accomplished goals.” I am seeing the finish line on the “in the works goals.” The ones with which I am fighting, those still sit on my “to do list” every day and I poke them. Sometimes I scratch them, but I struggle to just “do” them.

One of the things I have been fighting with is this Blog. I am a writer. I don’t know that I was born a writer, but it was definitely a skill set that was nurtured in me by my mom. She was a writer. She loved to write. Somehow in her passing, I found my voice and now feel writing is honoring her.

So why commit to Blogging but then fight it? No one is asking me to do this (or rather no person is asking me to do this.) I do feel that God is asking me to become vulnerable through my writings in order to stretch out my hand of service in a “new” venue. I love the face to face chats. I love meeting my girl friends for coffee (even at their house or in mine) or chips and salsa or dinner. I love to see their face when we chat. I love to see the tears and let them see mine. I am very transparent with my gals and vulnerable in person.

Blogging is the same but different. I am being transparent and vulnerable, but I do not hear your voice, see your face and experience your emotions. I say it; it’s out there; there is no taking it back.

So why do I feel God is calling me to this? What could possibly be the purpose of Him calling me to Blog? Well, one of the first things I wrote opened doors I thought were bricked over. From that moment, I have experience the same thing over and over. I have renewed friendships. I have deepened relationships. I have peace in areas of my life that were wrestles. So why do I fight?

Well just because I have been blessed by this does not make it easier, it should but doesn’t. I do want to say this to those who listen, thank you. I don’t know who you are always and that’s the way it was designed. I pray that God uses me daily to spread His word and not mine. I ask that if this has “touched” you to share it. Oh and right up front I’m going to say I know I am long winded…I guess I have more to say than I thought.

I am living out my calling in ways I would not have designed for myself. All the same I know for sure that I am doing for what He has called me. I pray for all who listen that God will bless your lives. OK, back to being up and running…no more fighting here.