Valentine's Day Blues

I know I'm not alone here and though Valentine's Day has come and gone, it certainly has left its mark again this year. I am not into Valentine's Day. NOT one bit. Sadly, one of my kids made a comment that I don't believe in it...I did correct her. It's not that I don't believe in it, it's just that I don't celebrate it....well I do with the kids, just not my hubby.

I'm sure I'm not the only one out there that can share some horror story of Valentine's past that have gone horrible wrong, ended in tears or just did not live up to the hype. I am not the only woman in America that wishes Hallmark and Russell Stovers would just quit building this day into a frenzy. Pink hearts and velvet boxes and cards and flowers and ENOUGH ALREADY!

Okay, it's really simple for me. I'm not the Valentine's Day scrooge. I just don't want to go out and celebrate with my hubby along side of every other couple in the country to good see some sappy love struck movie in a crowded theater and eat at an over priced restaurant getting horrible service to celebrate our love on one day. My hubby and I have an anniversary to celebrate our love. We have four loving kids that celebrate our love. We have a marriage filled with blessings that celebrate our love. We have extended family that loves and cares for us that celebrates our love. We don't need candy or flowers on February 14th to do that for us.

Plus, I have trauma here. I'm not the only one (hubby does too). There have been too many Valentine's days in the past that ended in fights or tears or food poisoning (not kidding there). There have been too many high expectations that were not met and bitterness because of it. There were too many others in our lives that dictated what we did on that yucky day.

So we skip it. We don't get each other gifts. My hubby may be the envy of the shop being all those men worked really hard to make a nice day for their loved ones. We don't go out to a movie or dinner. We don't do a special anything. In fact this year, we didn't even eat dinner together...hubby worked late. I got a box of chocolate for each of the kids. One of the kiddos made dinner. We ate and watched TV. When hubby finally got home, he came to our bedroom to find three girls and a mama falling asleep in front of the TV. For us, it was just Tuesday with some candy at dinner.

I said that V day left its mark...well that would be the ridiculous amount of candy all over. Yuck!

Oh well...at least my kids enjoyed giving and receiving cards and candy. They certainly don't have high expectations about Valentine's day around here. Maybe they will be able to celebrate with loved ones some day and not have high hopes crushed because they don't have any. ;)

Valentine's day blues...

Expectations can ruin the world! There are so many people in my life that have had a miserable Valentine's day because of expectations that were not met. That, however, is not why I have Valentine's Day blues...

So I have heard many say for years that this was a Hallmark created holiday to sell more junk. It is consumerism at it's best and holds no value. I have heard friend say it was really "Single Awareness Day" and others say that it was a day to have their hopes for a great day crushed. Over the years I think I have agreed with all of them...until now!

Then this year my daughter came home from school and shared one of the stories behind Valentine's day. Apparently, according to this story (and there are many versions) that there was a man named Valentino who lived in ancient Rome. There was a couple in love and they were imprisoned for being Christians. They were going to be put to death. Valentino told the guards to take his life to safe the life of the lovers. Now keep in mind all there all many stories and possibly three different Saint Valentines. But regardless of all of this, I suddenly realized that I had been upset with this Hallmark created holiday just to find out that I really was wrong. This is day is to be celebration of love and sacrifice that dates back to ancient Rome. By the way, Hallmark did not exist back then. ;)

Now to be fair, I have many reasons to not love this day. To start, Garrett proposed to me on Valentine's Day ten years ago. Valentine's day is a reminder of a love lost. Then on top of that, two years ago, just two days before Valentine's day, my mom passed away. She was giving the girls their Valentine's day gifts and cards when she passed away. When the kids get ready for Valentine's day, we now talk about it being Nana's last thing she did. So now it's a day that I remember two lost loves in my life.


Then there are the years and years that my Valentine's day was not a good day. There have been horrible dinners at restaurants and food poisoning and then two different years I was in the ER on Valentine's day. It really has not been a day I have looked forward to for quite some time. Then I married Ryan and discovered he has just as many bad Valentine's days as I. We both dread the day.

So this year I decided I was going to do my best to make it a good day. I made a special dinner: Parmesan encrusted tilapia, sauteed parmesan spinach, homemade battered french fries and a special passion punch. Then I got some Valentine's treats as I always do. I ended up cooking for hours and we had a very late dinner. All the kids were in great spirits and loved the dinner. They loved their little gifts and chattered on about their days. The youngest has parties at school and talked about all the things they did for their parties. The older kids had a good day too and I even found out my eldest asked a girl out (he had been planning to do it on Valentine's day...so sweet). My hubby got me a big box of candy and some special caramels that I love so much. I got him a game he's been wanting (it's the first time I got him a Valentine's day gift).

After dinner, I was cleaning up my enormous mess I made making fries and I looked over at my hubby and said, "I think this may have been the best Valentine's day I have ever had." He said, "I don't know if that's a good thing but I'm glad you had a good day." I love that I can be real with him and let him know that I don't like celebrating Valentine's day. I love that even though I don't like to celebrate it, he helps me make it good for the kids because there is no reason for them to struggle with this day just because we do.

In the end, I just have to say that it was a good day. We planned hard to make it that way and it paid off. I still do not look forward to celebrating it next year, but it was really nice to not have a horrible day. I will work just as hard next year to try to make it wonderful for my kids. In the end there was some sacrifice on my part to show my family I love them. I would have preferred to climb into bed early and forget the whole day. Instead I cooked for hours and the kids felt loved and therefore, so did I!