He called me to do what?

That's how I felt about this time last year. I just wanted to have a direct phone call with God. All I kept thinking is "He called me to do what?"

Just about a year ago, God clearly called our family away from the church we had been attending for almost 8 years. It was the only church my girls knew. I was the church I landed in as a "grown up". I was the church all my friends attend. I was all I really knew as well.

As God prepared us for this move, He started to pull me out of all the things in which I was involved. He started quieting my time. In that quiet, I heard Him clearly. I watched how those changes affected my life. As I stopped being as involved, I started feeling some distance with friends.

My heart broke when we realized that was what was happening. If you don't know me really well, I'll just tell you that I don't like change (not that most people do). The other part here is that I have social anxiety. Making friends is very difficult for me and meeting people is even more difficult.

I think I was at my church for a year before I really allowed myself to talk to anyone. To be fair, I did come to that church very wounded and cried through every service for the first year. I don't think it's very much fun to go introduce myself to someone new with blood shot eyes and a running nose. Just as God planned, doors started opening for me to get involved at church. I started making friends and then meeting their friends and the next thing I knew, all my friends were from church or through church friends. I could literally trace all my friends back to church.

Nice and comfortable with all my friends, God spoke clearly into our lives in a moment of a family loss and asked us to leave. "Where?" we asked and there seemed to be no answer right away. At first, all we knew was where we were not to go. We went here and there....and after several months of feeling lost, God brought us to our current church this past summer.

We love our church but there are a few things that scared me right away about our church. First, I knew I wouldn't be going to church with any of my friends. Even though I had friends that happened to leave our church, I knew they wouldn't end up at the church we were. Second, this church was much smaller. This would seem like it would be easier to meet people, but that hasn't been the case. I met people at my last church through events and volunteering. Smaller church means less events and actually I need a break from volunteering for a bit. Lastly, our church is full of strangers. Every Sunday I go to church in a full on panic attack. I'm completely uncomfortable before and after church. When people approach me, I really want to die and somehow because I have the look of fear on my face, I'm pretty sure it keeps most anyone from approaching me anyhow.

The thing that has been the hardest about this move has been my friends. I used to count on seeing them at least once a week and chatting for at least a moment here and there. I seem to never see my friends anymore. I have a handful with whom I am good a keep in touch...the masses are gone. I don't get invited to events anymore from people I thought were my friends. I don't blame them...out of sight out of mind. They don't see me so they don't think to invite me to things. It's hard though, when the few with whom I do keep up, tell me the stories of this or that they did with such and so.

I used to have a calendar full of events related to church and events for friends. Now my calendar is my family busyness and that's it. I haven't made many new friends at my new church. I pray often that God will give me courage to talk to people and I have talked with a few here and there. I actually know several people at church already and that helps....but I miss my friends. I miss standing around after church talking about kids and husbands and life. I miss talking on the phone the next week about the sermon. I miss the impromptu trip to eat out together. I miss them.

I know our family is where we are called to be. I know God has a purpose for this move. I know we are apart of a mission not yet defined. I know this is right. My kids are excited to go to church. I look forward to every service. I love the worship and the sermons. I love the attitude of worship and I agree with the church's missions.

I just miss my friends.

Adoption...it's a beautiful thing.

So hubby and I went to look at adopting a new dog. We have been looking for quite some time. We've been arguing about what breed, how many, when... It has to be just perfect. We already have an amazing baby (dog, yep we're the dog people that call our dog a baby).

So yesterday we finally bit the bullet and went to look at a couple different options. The first breeder had Shar Peis and though they are my favorite with balls of wrinkles, hubby was not sold. Then he took me to look a this beautiful Pitty. I do love Pitties, but I didn't want a girl Pitty being our baby is part Pitty and also a girl, we could have some fighting issues.

Finally, on a whim I made hubby come with me to the Chihuahua breeder. That was it. We were sold. We couldn't decide on one...so we took them all! Meet the newest members of the Morrison Clan (names still to be determined).

The Morrison Clan pack of Chihuahuas 

Okay...not really. Totally an April Fools....but please play along on FB. I'd love to see how many people fall for it ;)