Adoption...and your "real" family

I remember one time someone referred to my parents as my girls' adoptive grandparents. I think I had the strangest look on my face and my eyebrows furrowed. I feared I would end up with a wrinkled brow permanently after that comment.

What on earth? Were they talking about my parents?

Yes, I'm adopted...and the second dumbest thing I've ever heard about it was when I was asked if I wanted to find my "real" parents.

I'm so confused. I thought I already knew my "real" parents. I remember the "real" dinner my mom made. I remember going on "real" dates with my dad. I remember "real" parent/teacher conferences. I remember "real" holidays and vacations. I remember "real" Christmas newsletters and "real" driving lessons and "real" recitals and "real" family photos.

I'm pretty sure my parents were "real." I think the person that made a point to say that, was indicating somehow that "real" families are blood related. If that's the case, then a spouse is not "real" family (or at least we hope not).

Here's the thing...

Being adopted is actually more legally binding than giving birth. My children are my responsibility: legally, financially, emotionally and spiritually. The "real" truth is that they can grow up and leave and if something horrible happens, I can disown them, write them out of the will and never have anything to do with them again. THAT IS NEVER GOING TO HAPPEN...but it could. As an adoptee...my dad cannot ever do that to me. My parents actually swore to a judge that they would be legally tied to me for the rest of their lives.

You've heard the saying, "Blood is thicker than water," but not in America. Adoption is thicker than anything...even marriage. If you marry and things don't work out, you can...divorce. If you adopt and things don't work out, you'll just have to figure it out! You cannot un-adopt.

Here's the other thing, the law looks at my parents as biological parents. My birth certificate has been re-issued with my parents names on the mother and father lines. Which also mean, my parents are grandparents to my kids. My parents didn't adopt their grandkids...they are just the grandparents.

All this to say, I love adoption. I saw this amazing video today and these emotions were flooding over me. My mother had a plaque in our home my whole life with the "Adoption Creed". My favorite line said, "I didn't grow under your heart but in." I was told my whole life that I was chosen. I was told my whole life that I was a blessing, an answer to prayer and a gift. I was told that I was redemption in my mom's heart because she wanted me so much.

So watch this video...I don't know about the organization but this is an amazing video.


New Film Premiere - I Like Adoption. from ILikeGiving.com on Vimeo.

I LOVE ADOPTION!