So for those who have followed my blog and love to read about our crazy lives, I am sure you have notice that there has been silence for a while. With exception to the few updated regarding my upcoming trip to Africa on June 9th, I have not written in months. It is now time to break that silence and share why I have been silent this long.
The past several months have been very trying on our family. There have been a lot of changes and we have been in a painful season. This season is by no means over, but I feel like it is time to open the doors just a bit. There are some of you who will read this post today and already know what is going on in our lives. I want to thank you for your love and support as well painfully try to find our way.
So here we go...
Dean has decided he no longer wishes to live with us. If you did not know all the details of our family, Dean is Ryan's step-son from his first marriage. Ryan has been raising him since Dean was three. After the divorce, Ryan and his ex-wife have had split, shared custody of both Dean and Cassidy. After Dean made this decision, though it was painful, there was something that told us to let him. Though we may have had a chance to fight for him in a lengthy court battle, biology has a strong say in court and we did not have that on our side.
After much prayer and amazing counsel, we have decided to allow Dean to make this decision and not fight him on it at this time. It has been terribly painful to have one less in our home and I still pray over Dean like I do all the other kids. I have never made a distinction in my heart or mind between biological kids and step kids. My heart tells me I have five kids and I love each of them as such.
It has also been hard on Megan, Alex and Haley. Because things did not end completely peacefully, they did not get so say goodbye to Dean. As of right now, Dean does not wish to be in relationship with them and we are honoring that. Cassidy of course still sees Dean when she is at her mom's house but I think it has been hard on her as well.
We knew when we decided to blend our families that there would be hardships. We knew that there would be pain that our kids would endure because of so many families being involved. We also knew there would be great joy to have a large blended family. There are so many wonderful things that have happened because we are a family. I thank God every day for putting this amazing family together. I know I could not have done a better job...ever. He is the director of our lives and has blessed our family in abundance the past several years.
OK...I felt all this had to be shared so we could move forward. I want to be able to share things happening in my life but have not because this is weighing on me. So hopefully this will help break that silence and allow me to move forward and share about my life.
If you have any questions, please direct them to me privately. I have shared all I can share at this point. I know many of you have missed Dean with us. I pray that God shows you the comfort He has shown us as we have grieved this.
I want to thank all the people who have been and are praying over us as we muddle through this. We covet your prayers and pray over all of you as well. Please continue to pray for us as we heal from this loss and as always, thank you for listening.
Monday, May 30, 2011
Saturday, May 7, 2011
Swazi here I come...
So I thought I would do another financial update for those inquiring minds that have asked.
The plane ticket has been purchased! I am going to Swazi...
I have 7 days to raise the rest of the funds! My final payment is due Friday, May 13th!
Please continue to pray I hit my financial goal and pray for me while I am gone!
Thanks so much to those who have supported me in all the ways you have these past months as I have been preparing for this event. I covet your prayers and so does my family.
Support Chart Updated 5 7
For those who have donated, I have not "forgotten" you. I plan on sending thank you card with pictures from my trip. I hope to have them in the mail at the beginning of July. Thanks so much!
Renee
The plane ticket has been purchased! I am going to Swazi...
I have 7 days to raise the rest of the funds! My final payment is due Friday, May 13th!
Please continue to pray I hit my financial goal and pray for me while I am gone!
Thanks so much to those who have supported me in all the ways you have these past months as I have been preparing for this event. I covet your prayers and so does my family.
Support Chart Updated 5 7
For those who have donated, I have not "forgotten" you. I plan on sending thank you card with pictures from my trip. I hope to have them in the mail at the beginning of July. Thanks so much!
Renee
Saturday, March 26, 2011
Swazi Financial update...
So I have had several inquiries from friends and family as to how things are coming with my Swazi trip. I guess I had better do a little up date for inquiring minds...
As my letter stated, it will cost $3,750 and will need to be paid by May 13th to cover land and air costs for my trip June 9th-22nd.
I have had a few donations...this is where I stand as of right now!
Support Chart
Thanks so much to all who have donated, are considering donating, are praying over me and will be helping our family cover gaps while I am gone. This could not be possible without the amazing family of God that surrounds us! Thank you, thank you, thank you!
As my letter stated, it will cost $3,750 and will need to be paid by May 13th to cover land and air costs for my trip June 9th-22nd.
I have had a few donations...this is where I stand as of right now!
Support Chart
Thanks so much to all who have donated, are considering donating, are praying over me and will be helping our family cover gaps while I am gone. This could not be possible without the amazing family of God that surrounds us! Thank you, thank you, thank you!
The internet reunites another family!
Many of you may already know this and some of you may not but many, many years ago, my parents were foster parents. For three and half blessed years, I had a sister, Candy. She was just a year younger than me and for a time we even shared a room.
Many may think that since my parents did not get to adopt her, and she moved to another foster home, that she isn't really family or really my sister. Well that couldn't be farther from the truth. She may not be my flesh and blood, but she is definitely my sister! I love her like a sister. I fought with her like a sister. And over the past several years since we lost touch, I missed her like a sister.
Just this week, she found my dad online. She called him up and he gave her my number. We talked on and off all day and even got to Skype (video call). I got to see her kids and she got to see a couple of my kids. We caught up of the past several years and were back being like sister again! We laughed. We were serious. Our kids laughed. We told old stories and said, "Remember when..." a thousand times!
I am so glad she found me! I have looked for her a thousand times...and after this week, it was just what I needed. So here's to the internet...it may have more information than we want sometimes but right now, I'm glad there was just enough information for my sister to find me.
Here's a few pictures from our childhood.
Many may think that since my parents did not get to adopt her, and she moved to another foster home, that she isn't really family or really my sister. Well that couldn't be farther from the truth. She may not be my flesh and blood, but she is definitely my sister! I love her like a sister. I fought with her like a sister. And over the past several years since we lost touch, I missed her like a sister.
Just this week, she found my dad online. She called him up and he gave her my number. We talked on and off all day and even got to Skype (video call). I got to see her kids and she got to see a couple of my kids. We caught up of the past several years and were back being like sister again! We laughed. We were serious. Our kids laughed. We told old stories and said, "Remember when..." a thousand times!
I am so glad she found me! I have looked for her a thousand times...and after this week, it was just what I needed. So here's to the internet...it may have more information than we want sometimes but right now, I'm glad there was just enough information for my sister to find me.
Here's a few pictures from our childhood.
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| Christmas at Grandma & Grandpa Harmon's |
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| Christmas at our home with Grandma & Grandpa Glenna |
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| One of our first visits...I still have that doll & her bear. |
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| We got Cabbage Patch Dolls this Christmas. |
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| Mom always curled our hair...I think it may have traumatized Candy. |
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| The Hilderbrands (my mom's sister's family) came to visit. |
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| Christmas at Grandma & Grandpa Glenna's...and yes Candy was bigger than me (even though I was older) and yes those are matching dresses. |
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| Going to a Luau, three generations in this picture. |
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| Some church family...I think this may have been her Surprise Birthday party. |
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| Us in our ugly old kitchen just before my parents remodeled it. |
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| My birthday dinner one year. |
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| Out for pizza! |
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| Fun with ice cream. |
Saturday, March 12, 2011
Day of Family Fun at the Park
Recently, Ryan & I took the family to the park for what we thought was going to be a morning of fun. But alas, as Colorado is, the weather was deceiving and though we thought it to be a "warm" February morning, the wind kick up and made it a bit colder than our wardrobe could handle. Never the less, the kids seemed to have fun and didn't want to leave despite their frozen appendages.
It was fun! I've been wanting to take the kids to the park for some fun and some fun family pics ever since I got my camera in November. Next time we'll go when it's a little warmer.
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| Our baby, looking a lot like the AmStaff in her when she runs. |
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| Cassidy in motion...look at her necklace stick straight out. |
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| Haley peaking through the play set at the park. |
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| So windy that Alex's hair was sticking straight up! |
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| Megan coming down the slide. |
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| Dean climbed under the play set...of course. |
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| Jumping! I love to get jumping pics! |
It was fun! I've been wanting to take the kids to the park for some fun and some fun family pics ever since I got my camera in November. Next time we'll go when it's a little warmer.
Tuesday, March 8, 2011
Cassidy's Science Project
It's that time of year...Science Fair Projects for 4th grade.
The trouble with a child that lives in two homes is that when it's time for a big project, things have to go back and forth, papers get lost, information is incorrectly passed on and children get confused as do the parents. So this weekend, Ryan and I finally got all the information on Cassidy's science project that is due this week though she has needed to be working on it all month. Cass was in tears because she hadn't done anything, but we were able to stop everything and get it done.
It is in these moments that I thank God that I am able to be a full time mom. I had the availability to get online with Cass and figure out what she wanted to do. Then we went to Walmart to get supplies. We used the three day weekend to experiment and we were able to finish the project Tuesday evening. She was sent to school with all the supplies to complete the presentation board at school. All this without anymore tears and I am proud of how hard she worked.
So here it is:
Better Candle for your money.
Will a white candle or a colored candle burn faster. After some research, she learned how to care for candles. You need to trim the wick to 1/4" before lighting it. A long wick can burn unevenly and smoke. She also learned that you need to protect the flame from the elements by putting it in a glass; she used my hurricane lamps.
Her hypothesis was that the white would burn faster because there were no dyes or chemicals.
She set the timer for an hour, let the candles burn then measured them after one hour. She repeated her test three times with white and three different colors: orange, maroon, and blue. Then the following day she repeated the entire experiment. After burning 12 candles, the results did not match her hypothesis. The colored candles burned faster...not by much but consistently they burned faster. She concluded that the extra chemicals and dyes in a colored candle may create a hotter flame causing them to burn faster. Therefore white candles are the better candle for your money.
Here's some pics of the process:
She did an amazing job. We are really proud of her. She took 3rd place in her division! Way to go Cassidy! We love you!
The trouble with a child that lives in two homes is that when it's time for a big project, things have to go back and forth, papers get lost, information is incorrectly passed on and children get confused as do the parents. So this weekend, Ryan and I finally got all the information on Cassidy's science project that is due this week though she has needed to be working on it all month. Cass was in tears because she hadn't done anything, but we were able to stop everything and get it done.
It is in these moments that I thank God that I am able to be a full time mom. I had the availability to get online with Cass and figure out what she wanted to do. Then we went to Walmart to get supplies. We used the three day weekend to experiment and we were able to finish the project Tuesday evening. She was sent to school with all the supplies to complete the presentation board at school. All this without anymore tears and I am proud of how hard she worked.
So here it is:
Better Candle for your money.
Will a white candle or a colored candle burn faster. After some research, she learned how to care for candles. You need to trim the wick to 1/4" before lighting it. A long wick can burn unevenly and smoke. She also learned that you need to protect the flame from the elements by putting it in a glass; she used my hurricane lamps.
Her hypothesis was that the white would burn faster because there were no dyes or chemicals.
She set the timer for an hour, let the candles burn then measured them after one hour. She repeated her test three times with white and three different colors: orange, maroon, and blue. Then the following day she repeated the entire experiment. After burning 12 candles, the results did not match her hypothesis. The colored candles burned faster...not by much but consistently they burned faster. She concluded that the extra chemicals and dyes in a colored candle may create a hotter flame causing them to burn faster. Therefore white candles are the better candle for your money.
Here's some pics of the process:
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| The Supplies |
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| Candles burning - it took six hours to do all the tests! |
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| After the tests were complete |
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| At the Science Fair |
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| Dad & I got to be judges for 5th grade. We stopped by to see Cassidy after we were done. |
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| So proud of his baby girl. |
Wednesday, March 2, 2011
Swazi...here I come.
This year I will be going on the trip to Swaziland, Africa with a group from my church. This will be the 5th and final year our church has committed to short term missions trips to Swazi. Making this decision has been a bit of a roller coaster.
The very first year they went, I did not feel called to go but tried to help others. Each year I have contributed in different ways from helping them take an extra bag of stuff to going to an adult prom. I got my hair cut for a fundraiser and donated an egg casserole for a Swazi breakfast. One year the girls' didn't have gifts at their birthday party but all the guests brought magnadoodles for the schools in Swazi. I have bought little items to support the Go-gos (which mean grandma) and have supported and prayed over others who have gone. Since the very first slide show the church showed us, my heart has been pricked to help this mission.
I knew I was called to go and finally this is my year. In fact, this was a premarital deal. I told Ryan before we got serious that I would be going to Africa in the next couple of years. I needed him to know that this was a calling on my life and that he would be okay with it when it came. He had his concerns then and they are the same now, but he is supporting me completely in amazing ways that words cannot explain.
Over the past several weeks as I approached walking in this decision, there have been several times when it seemed I was not going to be able to go. In fact, Friday afternoon it looked like it wasn't in the cards anymore. Then, by the grace of God, Monday afternoon the doors were opened again. I am going to Swaziland, Africa in June for two weeks.
The planning involved to go is insane. I have grandparents stepping up to help take care of kids while I'm gone (and I feel so blessed to have them). I have so many friends that have already helped just get the beginning things accomplished. Then of course I have kids that are concerned that they are going to go hungry while I'm gone and who is going to feed them, and we can't eat pizza for two weeks and where are we going to go while dad's at work, and...come on kids, like I really didn't have a plan. Take a breath. Then I realize they're freaking out because we have never been apart this long and possibly not even able to talk to me. The longest the girls were ever away from me was this summer, for one week, with their grandparents in FL and they talked to me for 45 minutes every night!
So there have been some hick ups in this process and I'm sure there are some more to come. The kids are worried but excited for me. My parents are helping with kids. My husband is being the most amazing cheer leader ever and is keeping me on track trying to get everything done to go. Now for the hard part...
This trip means there is a lot needed and so I have included the letter that I am sending out to family and friends. I have included it here for those who are in town (trying to save on the postage). I covet your prayers and any support you can give to this cause. Once again, thanks for listening!
Support Letter
The very first year they went, I did not feel called to go but tried to help others. Each year I have contributed in different ways from helping them take an extra bag of stuff to going to an adult prom. I got my hair cut for a fundraiser and donated an egg casserole for a Swazi breakfast. One year the girls' didn't have gifts at their birthday party but all the guests brought magnadoodles for the schools in Swazi. I have bought little items to support the Go-gos (which mean grandma) and have supported and prayed over others who have gone. Since the very first slide show the church showed us, my heart has been pricked to help this mission.
I knew I was called to go and finally this is my year. In fact, this was a premarital deal. I told Ryan before we got serious that I would be going to Africa in the next couple of years. I needed him to know that this was a calling on my life and that he would be okay with it when it came. He had his concerns then and they are the same now, but he is supporting me completely in amazing ways that words cannot explain.
Over the past several weeks as I approached walking in this decision, there have been several times when it seemed I was not going to be able to go. In fact, Friday afternoon it looked like it wasn't in the cards anymore. Then, by the grace of God, Monday afternoon the doors were opened again. I am going to Swaziland, Africa in June for two weeks.
The planning involved to go is insane. I have grandparents stepping up to help take care of kids while I'm gone (and I feel so blessed to have them). I have so many friends that have already helped just get the beginning things accomplished. Then of course I have kids that are concerned that they are going to go hungry while I'm gone and who is going to feed them, and we can't eat pizza for two weeks and where are we going to go while dad's at work, and...come on kids, like I really didn't have a plan. Take a breath. Then I realize they're freaking out because we have never been apart this long and possibly not even able to talk to me. The longest the girls were ever away from me was this summer, for one week, with their grandparents in FL and they talked to me for 45 minutes every night!
So there have been some hick ups in this process and I'm sure there are some more to come. The kids are worried but excited for me. My parents are helping with kids. My husband is being the most amazing cheer leader ever and is keeping me on track trying to get everything done to go. Now for the hard part...
This trip means there is a lot needed and so I have included the letter that I am sending out to family and friends. I have included it here for those who are in town (trying to save on the postage). I covet your prayers and any support you can give to this cause. Once again, thanks for listening!
Support Letter
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