What I'm not...

That list could go on for days. There are so many things I am not! I am not an amazing singer or artist. I am not a gymnast or a swimmer. I am not a wealthy person nor am I poor. I am not bitter or angry...

I am tired. I am really, really tired. I don't mean physically though sometimes I am physically tired. I am emotionally, mentally and spiritually tired. No, I'm more than tired, I'm exhausted. 

The weird thing is, you would think I would be ready to just give up, lay down, quit, throw in the towel and just be done, but I'm not. There is a drive behind it all. There is a voice in my heart and head that encourages me. I hear my mom's voice telling me everything is going to be okay (even if it really isn't). I hear God's voice telling me He's got it all under control. I have my numerous friends telling me how proud they are of me and amazed at my strength...and so I keep going.

One of my closest friends in the world is also going through a hard time too. She thinks she's taking me for a ride on her roller coaster but then I think I'm really the one taking her along with me. Whatever the case, I will say that I'm so blessed to have her with me. There are so many amazing people that are journeying with me and I am really, really blessed.

Thanks so much for all the prayers and encouraging words. Thanks for listening to my ramblings. Thanks for being God's voice in the quiet times and His love all the time. Thanks for it all. I don't know where I would be right now without the most amazing support group in the world. I know we have people praying for us all around the country, near and far...thank you.

Sometimes I wish I had a glamorous life. I wish I was an amazing musician or artist or even wealthy. Sometimes I look at other's lives on FB and think their live looks nicer than mine or think they probably don't ever have to deal with the things we do...but then I remember the truth. The truth is: this is the life God designed for me. It is blessed. I am healthy and so is my family. I have love, friendship, family, hope and faith all around me. I know that no matter what, God has got it under control. There is nothing in the world that I need more than that.

Today, I write to remind myself of these things. I write so I don't get lost in comparing my life to the false world of FB that we try to emanate to the world. I write so I regain the strength to keep going. I write to remember the blessings. Most of all, I write to say thank you. I keep you because you all give me strength.

Thanks...