No, I did not jump in a tornado and find myself on the other side of the rainbow, but I did find my way home. I wasn't lost, just moved. When you move, you have to find "home" again. For us, this home we had to find was a church home.
It was a very long journey. I was very sad to have left Vanguard. When God called us away, there was a silence that came with that. It was really hard to here God say this chapter is over but then not tell us what was going to be next. I found myself searching for any answer and was feeling a bit dazed.
Ryan and I talked and made that list of needs and wants for the new church. We would love it if God called us to a church about this big, that had a great such and such ministry and that was about this far away that had services around this time and blah, blah, blah. I think God laughed a little and said no to all of those things. He said He wanted us to be connect and He wanted us to feel called and He wanted us to hear Him. Oh. Got it. Sorry about that.
So He took us to Boulder Street Church (BSC). It was none of the things on our "list" but we felt Him...felt Him speak to us, felt Him call us, and just felt Him. I was taken over by what I can only call but feeling like I was home. Of course, we didn't want to make that decision right away. We committed to trying it several weeks in a row and still continued to discuss visiting other places, but after our several weeks in a row, we decided we were home. I was overjoyed that after this six month journey we were home...and then I grieved deeply.
When we left Vanguard, we were not broken or hurt. We loved Vanguard. There were days I prayed that God would not call us away. New things are scary and I love Vanguard. I knew God was very direct when He called us away. I knew we were walking into a new chapter of our lives and everything told us we were being called a different direction, but I still believe in Vanguard's mission and I love Vanguard. Making BSC our home meant that I really wasn't going to Vanguard anymore.
One day I just fell apart. I told Ryan that it just wasn't the way it was "supposed" to be. I have a wonderful life and God has blessed me in ways I cannot explain....but. But I missed my friends. But I don't like change. But I was feeling alone. But I wasn't going where I thought I would be going right now. But...but...but.
At the end of the "but" tunnel, I came out of the other side a little sad, a little lonely, very excited and very blessed. I am a little sad that after church when I'm talking to friends, they are all new friends. I am a little lonely when I go to a church function and my best friends are not there. I am very excited to see where God will call me to serve at BSC and I am very blessed to be home.
Thank you Lord for taking our family on this journey, for blessing it and giving us direction and peace. Thank you all who joined with us in prayer as we went on this journey and as always...thanks for listening.
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