Expectations can ruin the world! There are so many people in my life that have had a miserable Valentine's day because of expectations that were not met. That, however, is not why I have Valentine's Day blues...
So I have heard many say for years that this was a Hallmark created holiday to sell more junk. It is consumerism at it's best and holds no value. I have heard friend say it was really "Single Awareness Day" and others say that it was a day to have their hopes for a great day crushed. Over the years I think I have agreed with all of them...until now!
Then this year my daughter came home from school and shared one of the stories behind Valentine's day. Apparently, according to this story (and there are many versions) that there was a man named Valentino who lived in ancient Rome. There was a couple in love and they were imprisoned for being Christians. They were going to be put to death. Valentino told the guards to take his life to safe the life of the lovers. Now keep in mind all there all many stories and possibly three different Saint Valentines. But regardless of all of this, I suddenly realized that I had been upset with this Hallmark created holiday just to find out that I really was wrong. This is day is to be celebration of love and sacrifice that dates back to ancient Rome. By the way, Hallmark did not exist back then. ;)
Now to be fair, I have many reasons to not love this day. To start, Garrett proposed to me on Valentine's Day ten years ago. Valentine's day is a reminder of a love lost. Then on top of that, two years ago, just two days before Valentine's day, my mom passed away. She was giving the girls their Valentine's day gifts and cards when she passed away. When the kids get ready for Valentine's day, we now talk about it being Nana's last thing she did. So now it's a day that I remember two lost loves in my life.
Then there are the years and years that my Valentine's day was not a good day. There have been horrible dinners at restaurants and food poisoning and then two different years I was in the ER on Valentine's day. It really has not been a day I have looked forward to for quite some time. Then I married Ryan and discovered he has just as many bad Valentine's days as I. We both dread the day.
So this year I decided I was going to do my best to make it a good day. I made a special dinner: Parmesan encrusted tilapia, sauteed parmesan spinach, homemade battered french fries and a special passion punch. Then I got some Valentine's treats as I always do. I ended up cooking for hours and we had a very late dinner. All the kids were in great spirits and loved the dinner. They loved their little gifts and chattered on about their days. The youngest has parties at school and talked about all the things they did for their parties. The older kids had a good day too and I even found out my eldest asked a girl out (he had been planning to do it on Valentine's day...so sweet). My hubby got me a big box of candy and some special caramels that I love so much. I got him a game he's been wanting (it's the first time I got him a Valentine's day gift).
After dinner, I was cleaning up my enormous mess I made making fries and I looked over at my hubby and said, "I think this may have been the best Valentine's day I have ever had." He said, "I don't know if that's a good thing but I'm glad you had a good day." I love that I can be real with him and let him know that I don't like celebrating Valentine's day. I love that even though I don't like to celebrate it, he helps me make it good for the kids because there is no reason for them to struggle with this day just because we do.
In the end, I just have to say that it was a good day. We planned hard to make it that way and it paid off. I still do not look forward to celebrating it next year, but it was really nice to not have a horrible day. I will work just as hard next year to try to make it wonderful for my kids. In the end there was some sacrifice on my part to show my family I love them. I would have preferred to climb into bed early and forget the whole day. Instead I cooked for hours and the kids felt loved and therefore, so did I!
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