Overwhelm

In case you didn't know, here are some of the definitions of overwhelm:

• overcome, as with emotions or perceptual stimuli
• charge someone with too many tasks
• submerge: cover completely or make imperceptible;
• overpower: overcome by superior force or number
• To engulf, surge-over and submerge; To overpower emotionally
• Derived from the middle English term "to capsize".
• to overpower the thoughts, emotions, or senses of
• to overcome with irresistible force
• to overcome, as with a profusion or concentration of something
• to cover over or bury completely
• to weigh or rest upon overpoweringly
• upset
• overthrow
• to cover over completely

Somehow that doesn't even begin to scratch the surface of describing life for me right now. I can't necessarily put my finger on the straw that broke the camel's back, but I know it happened. Here's the thing...this is everyday for me right now and has been for as long as I could remember. There is always a long to do list. There is never enough time. When one thing is "caught up" it is because another falls to the wayside.

So today, my house may be 89% clean, but I have two weeks of homework to finish in the next four days. Even when that's complete, I have several things at four different kids' school that need attention from teacher conferences to driving for a field trip. And when those are done (in eight & a half years), I still need to find enough energy for my family and friends. Somewhere in all of that, I want to go to the gym to take care of me.

I took 9,000 things off my plate this summer only to fill it up again. I hope that the things I replaced "fit" me better because the things I took off were definitely draining me. All I can say is today overwhelm seems a bit light on describing how I feel. Nothing happened that brought me here today, but none the less here I am.

Overwhelmed...oh and tired.

I am just going to rest in the fact that I don't have to do it all. I am a good wife, mother and friend. I seek progress not perfection in all things. AND most importantly...I am loved: by God, by family, by friends and I love them all. In the end, that makes my overwhelm shrink down. I'm not drowning; it just feels that way sometimes.